


The Longest Time

by Seaspray13



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Study, Dialogue Heavy, First Kiss, First Time, Garak is also a nervous wreck, Idiots in Love, Julian is a nervous wreck, M/M, Mutual Pining, Plot What Plot, Secret Relationship, Slice of Life, supportive friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:48:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 16,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26957581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seaspray13/pseuds/Seaspray13
Summary: A wonderfully trope-filled, self-indulgent story in which Julian and Garak are both idiots who love one another but are completely oblivious about it. They do figure it out (eventually). Jadzia plays matchmaker, Miles runs a bit of interference, and Ziyal is just out here doing her best. Set during late season 4-ish.Updates Sunday & Thursday
Relationships: Elim Garak & Keiko O'Brien, Elim Garak & Tora Ziyal, Julian Bashir & Elim Garak, Julian Bashir & Jadzia Dax, Julian Bashir & Miles O'Brien, Julian Bashir/Elim Garak, Keiko O'Brien/Miles O'Brien
Comments: 185
Kudos: 156





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> At 16k, this is the longest thing I've ever written so I hope you enjoy the ride!
> 
> Thank you to the wonderful Sasa_Q for giving it a read through.

1.

> Shades of grey wherever I go  
>  The more I find out the less that I know  
>  Black and white is how it should be  
>  But Shades of grey are the colors I see

“Ah! Doctor! How kind of you to join me.”

“Hello there, Garak.” Julian said as he set his food on the table and collapsed into the chair opposite his lunch companion.

“I was beginning to suspect that you had forgotten about our weekly arrangement,” Garak said with just a hint of bitterness.

Julian sighed. “Look, Garak, I’m sorry. The infirmary has been so busy today, I’ve done nothing but deal with one problem after another.”

The doctor certainly looked more tired than usual. “I’m confident that none of these problems were too difficult for a chief medical officer with your skill and expertise to solve.” Garak said.

“I’m flattered, but that’s not the point,” the doctor continued. “When I have a big project to work on it’s easy to focus in on it, but when I have to deal with all these little issues at the same time it feels like I’m being pulled in six different directions,” Julian said, taking an aggressive bite of his falafel. “First I got called in early this morning because Ensign Pellegrini went into labor, then I had about 15 people from Quark’s come in with food poisoning. Evidently he switched his kava fruit supplier in an attempt to cut costs. Miles dislocated his shoulder, again, I had to treat the entire crew of the Bolian freighter that docked because they had been exposed to high levels of gamma radiation, and the day is only half over.”

“Don’t your nurses assist you?”

“Yes, but as you pointed out, I’m chief medical officer. In the end, all medical related issues on this station are my responsibility.” Julian seemed to realize he was dominating the conversation “I’m sorry, Garak, I don’t mean to complain, I really do love my job but sometimes I just get overwhelmed. Anyway, did you get a chance to read _Frankenstein_ yet?”

“Not yet, I’m afraid,” Garak lied. He had finished it last night and had a great deal to say, but as much as he enjoyed their literary discussions it seemed this one would have to be postponed as the doctor seemed to have more pressing matters to deal with. “You mentioned that being ‘overwhelmed’ is something that has happened before. Is there any remedy that you have been able to devise?”

At that, Julian began to blush. He refused to look at Garak when he answered. “Oh, usually I go to Quark’s, have a few drinks, maybe spend some time in the holosuite.”

Garak was intrigued by this reaction. Whatever Julian needed to relax it was certainly not drinks and holosuite time. It must be something quite sensitive to turn his face that color. Garak did not think it prudent to wait until next week’s lunch to figure out what was going on. “I should be able to read the novel you gave me tonight. Since I failed to deliver on this literary discussion perhaps we could have lunch again tomorrow.”

“I’m afraid I can’t. I already promised Jadzia I’d go with her to the Klingon restaurant tomorrow.” Julian replied, “but I should be free the day after,” he added quickly.

“That will be just fine. I look forward to discussing this ‘foundational work of science-fiction’ as you called it.”

Julian smiled for when seemed like the first time since their meal had begun, “more than foundational, Mary Shelley practically invented the genre.”

“I suppose I will soon discover what all the fuss is about.”

\---

Julian was mentally kicking himself as he made his way back to the infirmary. When Garak had asked what he needed to unwind, Julian felt like he was going to explode.

What he wanted, what he NEEDED, was at minimum, a nice long cuddle session with someone. However, in his mind that illusive someone had somehow evolved into Garak.

Julian doubted such an activity and any activities that would likely follow would interest the tailor. He sometimes doubted that HE even interested Garak. What exactly was the Cardassian getting out of their weekly lunches besides mediocre food and rushed conversation?

The doctor’s thoughts were interrupted by the appearance of Miles O’Brien.

“Julian!” The chief called as he made his way across the promenade.

“Afternoon chief,” Julian smiled

“I just wanted to say thanks for fixing me up earlier,” O’Brien said as he fell into step beside the doctor 

“All in a days work.”

“Yeah, well, I know you’ve been busy lately so I feel like I owe you one.”

“Don’t worry about it Miles.”

“I’m serious,” the chief insisted. “I’ve got some time the day after tomorrow, meet me in Quark’s at 1200 hours and we can play some darts and have a few pints.”

The day after tomorrow, shit. Julian thought. He had already promised to meet Garak for lunch that day, a choice he was regretting more and more with each passing moment. “Uh... I don’t think that’s going to work.”

“Why not?”

“I already promised Garak.”

“Garak?” The chief stopped in his tracks, “but you just had lunch with Garak today, isn’t that a little soon to be doing it again?”

“There’s no rule that says I can only have lunch with him once a week.”

“I know that, it’s just unusual is all.”

“We didn’t have enough time to finish talking about this week’s book.” Not entirely a lie, since they hadn’t discussed the book at all.

“Alright, just let me know when you do have some free time.”

“I will.” 

Miles gave Julian a pat on the shoulder before walking away.

Julian sighed as he entered the infirmary. This long day was only going to get longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was really craving falafel when I wrote this, also I'm a big fan of the "Julian Bashir is a vegetarian" headcanon.
> 
> Comments and Kudos greatly appreciated!


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun with this chapter so I hope you enjoy.
> 
> The idea that Garak and Keiko are good friends lives rent-free in my mind.

2.

> Advice is cheap you can take it from me  
>  It's yours to keep ‘cause opinions are free  
>  Nobody knows about the trouble I've seen  
>  Nobody's perfect, mister, nobody's clean

Julian pushed the gladst around his plate. Unlike many of his colleges, he didn’t mind Klingon food, but his mind was elsewhere. If Garak knew how he truly felt about him there’d be no way the tailor would continue their lunch dates. _Shit,_ they really felt like dates now that Julian thought about it. He had found Garak an interesting man from the very beginning but this had become more than just a passing fascination. How the fuck did this turn so complicated?

Jadzia Dax on the other hand, was thoroughly enjoying her meal. “... I told Kira that it was a great idea and she should take Keiko along. It would only make sense, considering her background in botany. Who knows what kind of plant life they’ll run into and we don’t want anyone ending up in the infirmary with an allergic reaction, as much as I know you appreciate the company,” she smiled.

“Huh?”

Jadzia’s face fell, “Julian, have you been listening to a word I’ve said?”

“I’m so sorry Jadzia,” Julian said with a wince, “I guess my mind was elsewhere.”  
The Trill raised an eyebrow, “who were you thinking about?”

“I never said I was thinking about anyone.”

“But you were, I know that look.” Jadzia’s eyes sparkled with mischief, “are they cute?”

“Jadzia!”

“Obviously they’re a more interesting topic then the upcoming survey mission. Is it another dabo girl?”

Julian buried his face in his hands, “it’s terrible, is what it is.”

“Are they seeing someone else? Do you need me to put in a good word for you?”

“I’m not interested in being a homewrecker Jadzia!”

“Never stopped Curzon,” she said with a shrug. “If you just tell me who it is then I’ll stop guessing.”

Julian knew it was better to get it over with than be subjected to her relentless questioning but he still hesitated. It was strange to say something out loud that he had only even admitted to in the privacy of his own mind. “Garak,” He said quietly. “It’s Garak.”

“Garak? That’s—“

“Terrible?”

“I was going to say, not surprising.”

“What do you mean?”

“You two have been having lunch together for years now, and I’ve seen the way you look at each other.”

“The way I look at him maybe.”

“You don’t think he feels the same way?”

“Of course not, what use would he have for me, a naive, Federation doctor?”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit, he obviously likes you enough to keep having lunch with you week after week. Have you told him how you feel?”

“I can’t do that!”

“Why not?”

“Because he’d never give me a straight answer!” Julian said in annoyance, “and I don’t want to ruin what we have, I enjoy our lunches together.”

“But you want more?”

“Obviously, but I can’t just dump that on him. Oh, Hi Garak, sorry I’m late. By the way, I’ve had a massive crush on you for ages now and I’d really like to kiss you if you don’t mind.”

“Are you really so sure that he doesn’t feel the same?”

“What on Earth makes you say that?”

“When you’ve lived as many lifetimes as I have, you start to notice these things,” Jadzia paused, as if recalling some distant memory. “I also know that if you do nothing, you’ll probably regret it.”

Julian sat in silence for a moment. Could he do it? Tell Garak how he really feels? He watched Jadzia. He forgot sometimes, with her outgoing personality, how much wisdom and experience she had. “I was planning on meeting him for lunch tomorrow, what should I do?”

Jadzia smiled, “I think you should just be honest, and maybe eat somewhere a bit more private just in case,” she said with a wink. 

\---

Garak stood inside his shop and watched Julian and Lieutenant Dax made their way across the Promende. Even from a distance Julian was undoubtedly beautiful, but like many other beautiful things, the doctor was out of his reach. 

The tailor was still mulling over Julian’s strange behavior during their last lunch. What exactly did the doctor need to help him relax when he got overwhelmed? If Garak were to venture a guess he would say the solution was most likely sexual in nature, it would certainly explain Julian’s embarrassment at the question. Garak would’ve liked the answer to be more interesting but at least he had been able to use the situation to get an extra lunch with the doctor. What Garak truly wanted was to spend every lunch, no every meal, with Dr. Julian Bashir, but he knew such sentiment was dangerous and foolish.

Garak sighed as his mind returned to his work. It was unbecoming to let himself dwell on such a fantasy. Instead he focused on the task at hand, ripping the seams out of an old tunic in order to repurpose the fabric.

A few moments later, the door to the shop opened and in walked Keiko O’Brien with Molly at her side. Garak would never admit it, but he had a certain fondness for the botanist and her daughter, the elder of whom always expressed such a genuine interest in his work while the younger looked at him with such childish wonder. _Be careful Elim, you’re getting sentimental,_ he reminded himself.

“Hello, Garak,” Keiko said.

“Hi Mr. Garak!” Molly echoed.

“Mrs. O’Brien, Miss O’Brien,” Garak said, inclining his head at each of them in greeting. “What can I do for you this afternoon?”

“Molly ripped a hole in one of her dresses again,” Keiko explained while Molly handed over the offending piece of clothing.

Garak examined the dress. He recognized it as one of his own making, and it did indeed have a rather large tear in one of the sleeves. “Oh my, how did this happen?”

“I was fighting a dragon!” Molly said in earnest.

“Hmm, yes, I thought it looked like a dragon’s handiwork. Luckily the damage does appear to be reversible.”

Keiko smiled, “thank you, Garak.”

“My pleasure,” Garak said, and he meant it. Not only did the O’Brien women frequent his place of business on a regular basis, but they had both been kind to him from the moment they stepped foot on Terok Nor. If this were Cardassia their kindness would be cause for suspicion, but this was not Cardassia, nor was it even Terok Nor. Deep Space Nine and its Federation tenants really were turning him soft.

“How are your orchids coming along?” Keiko asked.

Several months ago, Mrs. O’Brien had assisted him in obtaining a few edosian orchid starts. Trying to grow them aboard Deep Space Nine was proving to be quite difficult. “No better than they were last week I’m afraid.”

“Even with the heating pad?”

“Even with the heating pad,” Garak confirmed. As much as he despised the station’s cool climate, the orchids hated it even more.  
“Hmmm, I’ll see if I can get in touch with some of my colleges on Bajor, maybe they’ll have some ideas that neither of us have thought of yet.”

“Perhaps they will.”

“Anyway, I’ll let you get back to work,” Keiko said, ushering Molly towards the door.

“I’ll contact you as soon as the dress is ready for pickup.”

“Goodbye Mr. Garak!” Molly said with a wave as she and her mother walked out of the store.

As Garak watched them go his eyes drifted towards the promenade. Julian was no longer anywhere to be seen.


	3. Three

3.

> But you will come to a place  
> Where the only thing you feel  
> Are loaded guns in your face  
> And you’ll have to deal with pressure

Julian hadn’t been this nervous since taking his final examination at Starfleet Medical. He had spent all of yesterday afternoon thinking about what Dax had said. He decided she was right; he needed to be direct, and tell Garak how he felt. He would stop by Garak’s shop this morning before his shift started and tell him that they should have lunch in his quarters.

 _Maybe I’ll tell him that I have a headache and would prefer to eat somewhere quieter._ Julian thought, his incessant pacing threatening to wear a hole in the carpet. _Ugh, no, there’s no way he won’t see that for the lie that it is, but does it even matter?_ Julian sighed and ran a hand over his face. This was ridiculous; you’d think he was a teenager working up the courage to ask someone to a dance. If Garak wasn’t interested, then that was that. They were both adults, Julian could handle himself. He left his quarters and made his way down to the promenade before his courage failed him.

He hesitated for just a moment before entering Garak’s shop. “Hello, Garak,” he greeted, trying to appear casual.

If Garak was surprised to see him, he didn’t show it. “Good morning, doctor. What can I do for you today? A new costume for one of your holosuite programs, perhaps?”

“Er, no, actually, I was hoping to talk to you about lunch.”

“I haven’t forgotten doctor, I will meet you at our usual table at 1200 hours.”

“About that... I was thinking maybe we could change it up a bit. My quarters?” _Oh no, no, no, that was way too forward!_

Garak blinked, “your quarters?”

“Yes.” _Fuck!_

Garak stared at Julian for a moment longer, “very well, I will meet you in your quarters at 1200 hours.”

“Oh, ok, good, perfect, I’ll see you then,” Julian managed to get out before heading for the exit. He did his best to run without actually looking like he was running.

He needed to find Jadzia.

\--- 

Garak watched Julian retreat out the door, flee was probably a better word. What on Cardassia was going on?

When Julian had mentioned lunch, Garak’s heart had sunk, expecting that the doctor would have to cancel due to some conflict. Instead the beautiful man had invited him to dine in his quarters! What was Julian playing at? _It could be nothing,_ he reminded himself, _friends sometimes share meals in each other’s quarters, don’t they?_ Although, that had certainly never been the case with him and Julian. 

Whatever happened, this lunch would certainly be a memorable one.

\--- 

Julian sat in his office chair, feet up on the desk while Jadzia leaned on the doorframe, arms crossed. “I took your advice,” the doctor told her, “I invited Garak to my quarters for lunch.”

“And?” Prompted the Trill.

“He said yes.”

“That’s wonderful!”

“No it’s not! My plan ended there, I have no idea what I’m supposed to do now.”

“Julian, I think you’re overthinking this.”

“No I’m not,” Julian said, pulling his feet off the desk and standing up to pace the room. “I never gotten romantically involved with a friend before and I don’t want to mess this up.”

“What exactly are you concerned about?”

Julian stopped his pacing and looked over at Dax. “I don’t want to hurt him, Jadzia. I’m one of his only friends on the station and if I ruin our relationship but trying to push it somewhere he doesn’t want it to go then I don’t think I could forgive myself.”

“Just be open about your intentions and communicate.”

“Garak doesn’t do ‘openness,’ it’s all lies and mystery and metaphor with him. Did you know I’ve been trying to figure out his birthday for years now and he still won’t tell me. I don’t even know how old he is!”

“Does that really matter?”

“I guess not, but the point is, relationships are about trust and I don’t even know if I can really trust him.”

“He’s never lied to you about the important things.”

“Of course he has!”

“But you were able to figure out the truth, right? You can read between the lines to see what he’s really saying. Garak is smart enough that if he doesn’t want you to figure out what he is trying to say, you won’t. The only reason you’ve been able to figure out what he means is because he lets you in on the secret.”

Julian sat down on the edge of the desk and stared at Dax, “my God...” 

“He trusts YOU, Julian, and you should trust me when I tell you that everything will work out fine between you two.”

Julian had to hope that she was right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys are enjoying this so far, I'd love to hear your thoughts!


	4. Four

4.

> I’ve gotta get it right the first time  
>  That’s the main thing  
>  I can’t afford to let it pass  
>  You get it right the next time that’s not the same thing  
>  Gonna have to make the first time last

Garak was finishing up a few last minute alterations before he had to be at Julian’s for lunch. The doctor’s declaration that they alter their usual lunch location had left Garak distracted all day, much to the Cardassian’s irritation. This whole situation was ridiculous and would likely end in disappointment. They were usually so good at reading one another’s hidden meanings, it was part of what made Julian such an agreeable lunch companion (aside from his beauty), but Garak was completely at a loss when it came to deciphering this current turn of events.

The tailor closed up shop, making sure the door was locked, and made his way to the habitat ring. He resolved that he wouldn’t leave Julian’s quarters until he figured out the doctor’s motivations, even if he had to ask him outright, although he hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

As he neared the door to Julian’s quarters Garak was struck with the realization that he was nervous, actually nervous! _Ridiculous,_ he thought, _if only Tain could see you now, getting flustered over some human._ Except it wasn’t just some human, it was Julian, intelligent, kind, beautiful Julian. Garak stopped in front of the door. He needed to get ahold of himself, it would not do to imagine something that could never be. He rang the door chime.

\--- 

Julian had changed out of his uniform and into a dark green shirt and black pants. If he was going to take Dax’s advice then he had to make it explicitly clear that this was no ordinary lunch. He had dimmed the lights, both to heighten the mood and as a courtesy to the Cardassian who always complained about the brightness of the station. Julian had replicated some candles and some zabu stew for Garak (and a vegetarian version for himself). He knew that the Cardassian was particularly fond of the dish. Now all he had to do was wait.

\---

When Julian opened the door the first thing Garak noticed is that the doctor had discarded his Starfleet uniform in favor of some civilian clothes. They did wonders for his figure, but Garak was not about to mention that.

“Garak! Come in,” Julian said warmly.

Wordlessly, Garak stepped into the room. The second thing he noticed was how the room had changed. Garak had been to Julian’s quarters a few times before, usually to drop off orders or swap reading material, never for a meal. The doctor’s quarters typically looked lived-in, PADDs strewn about, articles of clothing draped on the furniture, but the space also had an impersonal feel to it. There were no family photos, no art on the wall, or books on the shelves. The only item of personal significance was the ever-vigilant Kukulaka, who seemed to watch over the place.

Now, it was clear that Julian had spent some effort cleaning. The temperature had been increased and the lights dimmed. It was a gesture that indicated a level of thoughtfulness. Garak had nearly gotten used to being perpetually cold so it came as quite a shock.

“Doctor, you needn’t make yourself uncomfortable in your own quarters on my account.”

“Nonsense Garak,” Julian said with a dismissive wave. “It really doesn’t bother me.”

The third thing Garak noticed was the table. On it sat candles and two bowls of zabu stew. If this were Cardassia, Garak would ask Julian to marry him this instant. _But this is not Cardassia,_ he reminded himself. The rules are different.

“Please, sit down,” Julian said, gesturing to one of the chairs.

Garak obliged and almost immediately launched into a discussion. “I’ll admit I had my doubts about this particular novel but overall I found it quite intriguing. Framing the entire story as a letter was a very clever choice on the part of Mrs. Shelley, if I ever wrote a book I would likely do something quite similar. However, I found Victor Frankenstein to be quite an unbearable protagonist. The way he—“

“Garak!” Julian interrupted. “I hope you don’t think I went through all this,” he said, gesturing around the room, “just to talk about _Frankenstein._ ”

Garak hesitated, choosing his next words carefully. “...what exactly did you bring me here for doctor?”

Julian’s smile faltered, “you truly don’t know?”

What Julian alluded to was something Garak had no knowledge of outside of his dreams and fantasies. He opened his mouth to say something but no words came out.

Julian slid his hand across the table and gently took hold of Garak’s hand, intertwining their fingers together. The Cardassian watched, expression unreadable

“Elim...” Julian started.

Garak felt a jolt of electricity go down his spine at hearing Julian use his name. Was this real? Was this really happening?

“I don’t want to pressure you into anything, but for a while now I’ve had this hope that there could be some way for us to be more than just friends.” Julian’s second hand had joined the first, holding Garak’s between them. “If you don’t feel the same then I understand, I know it could make things awkward—“

“No.”

The warmth from Julian’s hands disappeared as he quickly let go of Garak and stood up. “Oh, I— I’m terribly sorry Garak, I shouldn’t have—“

Garak got up from his seat, panic beginning to build inside him, “no, no my dear, that’s not what I—“

“It’s fine, Garak, you don’t have to apologize, I think I just misread the situation.”

“You don’t understand—“

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, you have your reasons and that’s fine.”

Garak could see that words were getting them nowhere. In that moment he made a decision. In one fluid motion, he stepped forward, took the doctor’s face in his hands, and kissed him.

Julian let out a rather undignified squeak of surprise but didn’t pull away.

Garak had imagined this moment before but had failed to anticipate every sensation. He was absolutely enthralled by Julian’s soft, warm lips. Garak felt the human’s fingers begin to thread through his hair. Whatever happened next, this was worth it.

When they broke apart, Garak said nothing, waiting for Julian to make the next move.

“Elim, I—“

Before he could finish, a voice came through the comm system, “all senior staff report to the briefing room immediately.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a very subtle _A Stitch in Time_ reference in this chapter so congrats if you managed to catch it!
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated.


	5. Five

5.

> Cause I've gotten tough  
> It doesn't faze me  
> And now I've made my decision  
> I may be crazy

Julian’s emotions were threating to boil over as he made his way to ops. To say this meeting came at a bad time was an understatement. Garak had kissed him! He almost couldn’t believe it. _Don’t get ahead of yourself,_ he thought, _there’s still a discussion to be had about what this means for our relationship._

Since he had needed to change back into his uniform, Julian was the last person to arrive. Dax, Sisko, Worf, Kira, Odo, and Chief O’Brien were already seated around the long table.

“All right people,” Captain Sisko began, “I’ve just received a message from Starfleet command, the Klingons have started setting up a blockade just outside of Bajoran space and have been making things difficult for any ship trying to pass through.”

“Sounds like a tactic the Cardassians used against us during the occupation,” Major Kira said. “They’re probably hoping we’ll panic and do something risky.”

Julian had a hard time focusing on what anyone was saying. The events from lunch kept replaying in his head, over and over. He was thinking about the feeling of Garak’s neck ridges when he caught Jadzia’s gaze and she raised an eyebrow.

“Doctor?” Sisko said, startling Julian out of the fog.

“Yes?”

“I said, how is the infirmary doing on supplies? There’s a good chance we won’t be able to put in any new orders for the foreseeable future.”

“We aren’t running low on anything critical last I checked, but I can take a look at the inventory, just in case.”

“Good,” Sisko said and then turned to ask O’Brien a question about modifying the station’s shielding. 

Julian slid back into his daydream. Before he knew it the meeting was almost over and he had retained almost none of it. Just as he was about to leave he heard Sisko’s voice.

“Doctor, I’d like to have a word with you if you don’t mind.”

_Oh shit._ “Yes, sir?”

“Is everything alright? You seemed a bit distracted.”

Julian’s heart warmed a little at that. Captain Sisko could be intimidating at times, but he also made it very clear how much he cared about his crew. “It’s nothing sir, just... a personal matter.”

“Personal?”

“Yes sir.”

“Doctor, be sure you get this personal matter straightened out and that it doesn’t distract from your duties.”

“Yes sir, I will.”

“And if you need anything, let me know.”

“I will, thank you.”

“You’re dismissed.”

Julian turned to leave. No sooner had he entered ops than he was intercepted by Jadzia.

“Alright, spill,” she said, walking with him towards the turbolift. “What happened at lunch?”

“Who says anything happened?”

“Julian, your eyes were glazed-over for the entire meeting. Promenade,” she ordered as they entered the turbolift.

“About that, do you think you could give me some notes on what exactly everyone was talking about?”

“I suppose... but only if you tell me what happened.”

Julian smiled, “well, let’s just say I think your hunch was spot-on.”

\--- 

Garak had returned to his shop after lunch was brought to an abrupt end. ‘Lunch’ seemed like too base a word to describe what had happened. It was now abundantly clear that Julian had some level of interest in him, where that interest stopped remained to be seen. They likely would’ve discussed the specifics of their relationship had they not been so rudely interrupted.

If Garak had to venture a guess, he would assume that the meeting Julian had been called away for had something to do with the Klingon situation. Garak didn’t know why the Federation bothered with this little squabble, from what he had seen so far regarding the Dominion, it was clear they were the bigger threat. Then again, humans and their methods rarely made sense to Garak. 

The tailor had sent a message to Mrs. O’Brien, letting her know that Molly’s dress was ready to be picked up. However, it was Mr., not Mrs. O’Brien who walked through the doors.

“Chief O’Brien, I gather you are here for pick-up on behalf of your wife?” Garak said, careful to hide his disappointment. He didn’t dislike the chief necessarily, but he had difficulty understanding what Julian or Keiko saw in him.

“Er, yes,” the Chief said stiffly, “Keiko says she’s sorry she couldn’t come herself, Molly’s been having a rough day so she’s at home trying to calm her down. You know how it is.”

Garak didn’t, having little experience with children. “Of course, give them both my best,” he said, handing over the dress. 

O’Brien took it “thanks,” he said and then hesitated before asking, “did you and Julian have lunch together today?”

Whatever Garak had thought the chief was going to ask it was not that. “Yes, we did.”

“I didn’t see you in the usual spot.”

“We elected for a change in scenery.”

“Why?”

Garak’s eyes narrowed, “why the sudden interest in the dining habits of myself and the good doctor, chief?”

O’Brien shrugged, “he said he couldn’t play darts because he was meeting you for lunch but I didn’t see either of you in the replimat, and he seemed all out of sorts during the senior staff briefing.”

“With all due respect, chief, perhaps you should direct your questions to Dr. Bashir.”

“Don’t worry, I will,” O’Brien said with conviction, and then seemed to deflate a little. He muttered an awkward “thanks” in reference to Molly’s mended dress and then quickly made his exit.

Garak sighed, once again unable to comprehend why Julian had chosen to log dozens of holosuite hours with that man.

As if on que, a voice came over the comm line. “Bashir to Garak.”

“Yes, doctor?”

“Do you have any plans for dinner?”

“Not that I’m aware of.”

“Care to join me in my quarters? 1900 hours? I think we had some unfinished business to discuss.”

“Yes, doctor, I will be there,” Garak smiled, unfinished business indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of an in-between chapter but I hope you enjoyed, nonetheless.
> 
> Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!


	6. Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's where things start to get a little spicy...

6.

> In the middle of the night  
> I go walking in my sleep  
> Through the jungle of doubt  
> To a river so deep  
> I know I'm searching for something  
> Something so undefined  
> That it can only be seen  
> By the eyes of the blind

At 1900 precisely, Garak rang the chime to Julian’s quarters, a bottle of kanar in hand.

They repeated the same song and dance as before, Julian opening the door, inviting Garak in, and the two of them sitting down at the table to eat. This time however, the mood had changed. There was still anticipation, but without the dread and anxiety that had been there before. They talked, about the day, _Frankenstein,_ the food and drink (the kanar was a very good vintage), but they both tiptoed about the one subject they most wanted to discuss. It was a challenge, who was going to break first.

Predictably, it was Julian who finally decided to broach the topic. “So, about earlier...”

“To what are you referring, doctor?”

“You can call me Julian, you know. I’m off-duty.”

“Very well... Julian,” it was strange, actually saying the name out loud.

“And I think you know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“Do I?” Oh, Garak was enjoying himself.

“You kissed me!”

“As I recall, it was a cooperative endeavor.”

“That may be, but what does it mean for us?”

“What do you want it to mean?” Garak knew what he wanted, but he was also willing to take what he could get.

Julian sighed, “this isn’t just about me, Elim, it’s a joint decision,” he paused. “Are you ok with me using your first name?”

“On Cardassia, the use of first names is permitted only between family members and other intimate relationships, and even then, first names are not typically used in public.”

“Is this an intimate relationship?”

“Do you want it to be?”

“Yes,” Julian breathed, “yes, I do, but what do YOU want?”

Garak looked at Julian for a long moment before answering, “I don’t want a ‘one night stand’ as you call it.”

Julian shook his head, “me either.”

“We’re in agreement then.”

Julian reached across the table and ran a hand down the side of Garak’s jaw. He didn’t say anything for a moment. “Were you ever planning on telling me how you felt about me? Before I invited you to my quarters?”

“My dear, I’ve been rather obvious about my feelings towards you since the moment we first met.”

“No, you—“ Julian began to protest and then stopped.

Garak could almost see the memory replaying itself in Julian’s mind. Garak recalled his actions, the hand on Julian’s shoulder, the suggestive invitation, it should’ve been obvious.

“I was so blind,” Julian said at last. “I had only just come aboard the station, everything was still so new. People had been telling me about the ‘Cardassian spy’ and then you actually talked to me, it was all so... overwhelming.”

“Perhaps I was a tad overbearing in my approach.”

“A tad? Elim, I don’t think I’d ever been so terrified and turned-on at the same time.”

“And now?”

“Well, now I know you a lot better,” Julian smiled. “You’re not near as intimidating as you think.”

“You wound me!” Garak said in mock offense.

“I know just the thing to make you feel better,” Julian said and leaned in, giving Garak a chaste kiss.

“Far be it from me to argue with a doctor’s expert medical advice,” Garak said once Julian had pulled back, “but my ego has been severely bruised. I believe I may require additional treatment.”

Julian’s eyes sparkled with mischief, “if you insist.” He got up from the table, putting the plates in the replicator and then retired to the couch, motioning for Garak to join him.

Garak was more than happy to oblige, sitting close enough to Julian that their thighs were touching.

The doctor raised a hand and ran a finger over one of Garak’s eyebrow ridges, a curious expression on his face. Garak thought it a bit strange but he supposed that his ridges fascinated Julian in the same way that Garak admired Julian’s smooth skin.

Julian kissed him, deep and slow, like he wasn’t planning on stopping anytime soon. Garak experimentally put his hands up underneath Julian’s shirt. He could feel the lean muscle just beneath the soft skin, and Julian was warm, oh so very warm. Garak let out little moan. He could feel Julian smiling. 

“How eloquent, I couldn’t have said it better myself,” Julian murmured, running his hands down Garak’s neck ridges.

Garak had no witty response, he was too busy having each and every one of his senses overloaded. Instead of a verbal reply, Garak helped Julian remove his shirt entirely. It ended up somewhere on the floor. Garak decided to save the lecture on the proper handling of textiles for another time.

Removing Garak’s own tunic took considerably longer, as he was in the habit of wearing multiple layers to fight against the chill. When the task was finally completed, Julian leaned back and stared for what felt to Garak like ages. He expected to feel vulnerable, it had been so long since anyone had seen him like this, but where others had looked upon him with judgment, Julian was merely curious.

“Elim... you’re stunning.”

Garak snorted, “I thought we had agreed that lies were my profession, not yours.”

“I’m being serious!” Julian huffed.

“Hmm, I’m afraid you’ll have to be more convincing than that, my dear.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“Perhaps.”

“Alright, I accept, on one condition.”

Garak raised an eyebrow, “and what might that be?”

“A change in venue.”

“Oh? What location did you have in mind?”

“The bedroom.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos appreciated!


	7. Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's where this fic earns its rating.
> 
> This chapter was very hard for me to write and is a bit on the shorter side, but I hope you enjoy, nonetheless.
> 
> All references to Cardassian anatomy come from "Speculative Cardassian Reproductive Xenobiology."

7.

> And in the evening  
> After the fire and the light  
> One thing is certain  
> Nothing can hold back the night

Julian took in the scene before him. They were in his bed, Garak sprawled out on his back and Julian straddling his thighs. They were both completely naked now, the rest of their clothing somehow getting lost on the journey from the couch to the bedroom. Julian couldn’t keep the grin off his face.

“Tell me, doctor, what is it exactly about this situation that's making you smile?”

“You, Garak,” Julian said as he teased Garak’s ajan with his fingers, Garak letting out a hiss of pleasure at the stimulation. Julian didn’t know much about Cardiassian anatomy (and not for lack of trying, it was just his luck he was trying to bed one of the most secretive species in the Alpha Quadrant), but he guessed that the swollen ajan combined with the way some of Garak’s scales had taken on a slight blue tint, indicated that man was thoroughly aroused. 

“While I’m more than willing the be a source of entertainment for you my dear, might I suggest we move on to a more... cooperative activity?”

“You’re going to have to help me a bit Elim, I don’t really know what I’m doing when it comes to your body and I want to make sure whatever I’m doing feels good for you.”

“How fortunate I am, to have such a considerate lover.”

Julian nearly rolled his eyes. Not even sex would stop Garak from enjoying the sound of his own voice. “I’m being serious, you have to promise to tell me if something feels wrong or if you need to stop, for any reason.”

“Very well.”

“Good. Now, where do I start?”

“Mmmm, keep doing that wonderful thing with your hands.”

“With pleasure,” Julian grinned, continuing his exploration of Garak’s more sensitive regions. He quickly removed his hand when he felt something emerge. “Oh? And what’s this?”

“You humans have a great many names for it but on Cardassia it’s called a prUt.”

“Fascinating, and what about this?” Julian said, pointing to the ‘spoon’ near Garak’s slit.”

“The chuva, one of the three chu’en.”

“And what about—“

“Julian,” Garak interrupted, “I would be happy to give you an anatomy lesson, at a later date.” 

“For someone who always lectures me for not enjoying long, dull Cardassian epics, you sure are impatient.”

“I hope you’ll forgive me this once, my dear.”  
“Always,” Julian said and leaned down to give Garak a kiss.

\--- 

When Julian was finally inside him, Garak felt like he was on fire, stars exploding all throughout his body. If only he could linger in this moment... but Julian had requested a guide in this endeavor and so Garak forced himself to speak.

“I believe humans tend to use a ‘thrusting’ movement but I would appreciate more of a wriggle.”

“Like this?” Julian asked, and rocked his hips in demonstration.

“Y-yes,” Garak’s breath hitched, “Just—Ah! Like that.” Garak could perhaps, put up with the anatomy lessons if this was to be the end result. He hadn’t felt anything this good in ages.

“Anything I should be doing with my hands? My mouth.”

Garak was having a difficult enough time thinking, let alone stringing together a coherent sentence. “Neck, t-third scale, Ah! Bite it, p-please.”

Julian did, and Garak was nearly brought to the edge. “Julian...”

“Yes,” the human said, breathing heavily, “I’m a-almost there, wait for me.”

Together they fell into oblivion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone catch the bit of dialogue I borrowed from "Civil Defense?"
> 
> Comments and kudos appreciated, thank you for reading!


	8. Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uploading chapter 8 and 9 at the same time since 8 is a real short one.

8.

> Goodnight my angel, time to close your eyes  
>  And save these questions for another day  
>  I think I know what you've been asking me  
>  I think you know what I've been trying to say

Julian awoke, back pressed up against someone, their strong arms encircling him. It only took a fraction of a second for everything to come flooding back, lunch, the kiss, dinner, Elim.

The sheets were a complete mess, thanks to last night’s activities. _Good,_ Julian thought with a smile. He carefully turned his head, it looked like Elim was still asleep.

Julian slowly turned himself so that he faced the slumbering Cardassian. Elim’s normally pristine hair was wonderfully disheveled. He looked so at home, here in Julian’s bed, as if they had woken up next to one another a hundred times before.

“I can feel you staring at me Julian.” Garak said, opening one eye.

“I thought you were still asleep.”

“I’ve been awake for some time, it is you who have been asleep.”

“Yes well, I need to get my beauty rest.”

Garak snorted and pulled Julian closer, “believe me my dear, you are not suffering from a lack of beauty.”

“Well that’s good to hear,” Julian said, and gave Garak a kiss. The Cardassian let out a very contented sigh. “I almost can’t believe this is really happening, me and you.”

“I’m inclined to agree. I didn’t hold out much hope that this particular fantasy of mine would come true.” 

“I can’t wait to tell Jadzia—“ Julian began and Garak stiffened.

“What precisely were you planning on speaking to Lieutenant Dax about?”

“Well, us, unless you prefer I didn’t...”

“Perhaps it would be better to wait.”

“What makes you say that?”

“My dear, it could not have escaped your notice that I am hardly the most popular person on the station.”

“If anyone gives you a hard time I’ll be sure to let them know they’re an ass.”

“Julian, there are many who don’t like me who also happen to be very dangerous. If they know how closely we were associated some would not hesitate to use you to get to me.”

“You think I’m not aware of that?” Julian sat up, “Elim, I knew you had enemies when I invited you to my quarters, I’m not about to run away now.”

“Perhaps you should...” Garak said, not meeting Julian’s gaze.

“Elim, I promise, I can handle myself,” Julian said, taking one of Garak’s hands in his. “You’ll just have to trust me, and trust that I think you’re worth it. Can you do that?”

“I will try,” Garak said, still not looking at him.

“That’s all I ask,” Julian had the suspicion that this conversation was not over but he decided not to push things for the moment. He returned to his original position and Garak snuggled in close. They lay there in silence for a few minutes. Julian still had plenty of time before he needed to report to the infirmary so decided he might as well make himself useful as Elim’s personal heat lamp. “You really don’t think I should tell Dax?” 

“My dear, it has been my observation that Lieutenant Dax’s ability to keep a secret is practically non-existent. If you tell her about us then all of Vulcan will know within the next 26 hours.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos appreciated. <3


	9. Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder that this is a double update. Chapter 8 and 9 were posted at the same time.
> 
> It's our first Ziyal chapter!

9.

> I look and I write my book  
>  And I walk away with the wrong impressions  
>  I don't care 'cause I've done my share  
>  And I need some time for my own obsessions

Garak was late opening his shop that morning. This was because the only clothes he had in Julian’s quarters were the ones that had spent the night on the floor. It would not due for any good tailor to be seen in such a state, so it was important that he make his way back to his own quarters without being seen. Since the corridors were bustling with morning activity, this took a considerable amount of time. Garak changed into fresh clothing and made his may to the promenade.

No one seemed to notice his tardiness. Well, almost no one. Constable Odo was a remarkably perceptive individual.

“I see you’re getting a rather late start today,” the Changeling said in mock accusation as he strolled into the shop, hands behind his back.

“Good morning Constable,” Garak replied. He had a great deal of respect for the head of security. Garak believed that they were similar in many ways and felt that Odo would agree, even if he were loath to admit it. The idea that the Constable was checking in on Garak because of ‘suspicious’ activity was mostly a game at this point. “As you mentioned, I am opening late today. I had the great misfortune of oversleeping.”

“It’s not like you to be so careless.”

“We all have faults, even simple tailors.”

Odo let out a hrumph, the joke being that Garak was as much a ‘simple tailor’ as Odo was a god. “Did Dr. Bashir have anything to do with your poor night’s sleep?”

It was only the years of Order training that prevented the shock from registering on Garak’s face. “I beg your pardon?”

“I was reviewing security footage this morning and noticed that you went to the doctor’s quarters twice yesterday. The second time you never left.”

“The good doctor and I were discussing a very important work of literature.”

“All night?”

“It was late when we finished to I elected to, as the humans say, ‘crash on the couch’”

“I see...” Odo said. “I assume Dr. Bashir will be able to confirm this story?”

_Oh no,_ “of course.”

“Good, I’ll leave you to your morning preparations then,” the Constable said and made his exit.

What Garak couldn’t see, Odo’s back facing him, was the Changeling’s slight self-satisfied smile at being able to ruffle Garak’s feathers. ‘Discussing a very important work of literature’ indeed!

\--- 

Julian sat through the morning briefing, paying much more attention than he had last time. Evidently Starfleet command was still trying to figure out a way to break up the blockade without massive casualties. If Julian was honest with himself he was less concerned about the Dominon or the Klingons and more worried about trying to keep such a big secret from Jadzia. She was smart and they were good enough friends that she was able to pick up on his subtle shifts in moods, not to mention she absolutely LIVED for station gossip. This was not going to be easy.

She didn’t bring it up right away, instead waiting until their turbolift was already in motion. “What ended up happening with you and Garak yesterday?”

Julian decided maybe a half-truth might work. “Well after the lunch and yesterday’s briefing, I invited him over for dinner. We talked a lot, and while he admitted that he does like me, he’s not interested in getting into a relationship with anyone while in exile.”

“Oh Julian, I’m sorry.”

He shrugged, “as disappointed as I am, I think we’ll still be able to stay friends. He gave me some Cardassian poetry to read so we can talk about it next week.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I think you’ve handled the whole situation really well. It can be difficult, what the passion is there, but the situation makes a relationship impossible.”

Julian wondered if she was thinking of Lenara.”Well, I couldn’t have done it without all your advice.”

Jadzia smiled, “anytime.”

\--- 

Garak and Julian had agreed that in order to keep up appearances, they would meet at the replimat for their traditional weekly lunches and meet in Julian’s quarters in the evenings. There wasn’t much to prevent Odo from keeping tabs on them, transporting would draw even more attention than some security footage. However, Garak did not believe that Odo would feel it necessary to discuss Garak’s personal relationships with others. He was in the uncomfortable position of owing the Constable a debt.

Just as Garak was about to begin a solitary lunch, Tora Ziyal took it upon herself to get comfortable in the seat across from him.

“How are you doing today Garak?”

“I’m doing well my dear, thank you.” Garak did not dislike Ziyal, in fact he thought she was an intelligent and talented young women, but her presence always seemed to put him on edge.

It was not just because she was Gul Dukat’s daughter, and the granddaughter of a man that Garak had personally helped kill. No, the worst part of it all was the painfully obvious crush she had on him. 

Garak could sympathize with her situation. Like him, she was an outcast, forced to live on this cold station where she did not belong. Garak understood why she sought him out, he was, after all, the only other Cardassian aboard the station. All the same, he wished she would direct her attention to someone else, someone closer to her own age perhaps. Now that Garak thought about it she wasn’t much older than Jake Sisko...

“Is it all right if I join you for lunch?”

“Be my guest,” Garak replied. As much as he probably should have said no, he didn’t want to see the look of disappointment in her eyes. _Sentiment, Elim._

Ziyal smiled, “I got a new holosuite program from Quark.”

“Oh?”

“It’s a recreation of the Cardassian Institutue of Art, I thought maybe this evening after you close your shop we could try it out.”

Garak had entirely different plans for the evening, plans that involved a certain federation doctor. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to this evening, I’ve had a rather long day.”

Ziyal seemed to take this response as Garak playing hard to get. “Oh come on Garak! I know how much you enjoy discussing Cardassian culture. You and Dr. Bashir do it all the time.”

Her mention of Julian only made Garak want to exit the conversation even more than he already did. “I really am unavailable this evening, I’m sorry.”

Her face fell, “Oh, ok.”

So much for sparing her the disappointment, Garak stood up, “I must be getting back to my shop now, but I thank you for the company.”

“You’re welcome,” Ziyal replied, but her smile did not reach her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos appreciated, as always.


	10. Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've crossed the halfway point! Thank you to everyone who's been keeping up so far.

10.

> If I only had the words to tell you  
> If you only had the time to understand  
> Though I know it wouldn't change your feelings  
> And I know you'll carry on the best you can.

“GARAK!” Major Kira Nerys said, marching into the tailor’s shop.

“Now, major, what can I do for you?” 

“What the hell did you say to Ziyal?” She demanded.

“Nothing to warrant such an aggressive response, I assure you.” Garak admired the major’s dedication to her charge but he wished that dedication didn’t always manifest as targeted verbal abuse.

“She told me you refused to got to the holosuite with her.”

“Refused’ is putting it a little to harshly, I merely explained to her that I had other plans for tonight. I didn’t realize she would be so disappointed.”

“What other plans?”

Garak sighed, “if you must know I was planning on doing some reading and enjoying a nice glass of kanar—“

“Bullshit, you just didn’t want to go with her.”

“And why does that concern you? I was under the impression that you didn’t approve of the two of us spending time together.”

“I don’t, but I can’t control who she chooses to be friends with. The holosuite program has cultural significance, I would’ve thought you’d be all over something like that.”

“You were mistaken.” Garak would much rather be ‘all over’ Julian Bashir.

Kira fixed him with a look, “you’re going to talk to Ziyal and tell her you’ll be happy to go with her to the holosuite tonight.” She didn’t need to say ‘or else,’ the threat was implied.

“Very well,” Garak surrendered.

“Good,” Kira said, and turned towards the door, her work here was done.

Once the major was gone, Garak commed Julian. “Garak to Dr. Bashir.”

“Yes, Garak?” came the reply.

“Where are you right now?”

“My office, why?”

“Are you alone?”

“Yes, Elim, what’s going on?”

Garak sighed, “I’m afraid there has been a change of plans for this evening.”

\--- 

Julian was disappointed at not being able to see Elim until late, but he understood the need to avoid the major’s wrath. 

The rest of Julian’s shift passed uneventfully. He decided to grab a drink at Quark’s before heading back to his quarters. He took a seat at the bar as far away from Morn as possible, he didn’t need to have his ear chatted off tonight.

“Doctor!” The Ferengi bartender exclaimed. “What’ll it be? I just got in a brand new shipment of springwine that you might be interested in.”

“Just a glass of synthale, if you don’t mind,” Julian said. “And don’t water it down this time,” he added.

“I would never do that to a valued customer, such as yourself.”

“So just the invaluable ones then?”

“Every customer is valuable but not everyone has your discerning taste, especially after they’ve already had a few drinks,” Quark said as he passed the doctor his glass and moved on to the next patron.

Julian just shook his head as took the first sip. Moments later, Chief O’Brien sat down on the barstool next to him. “Hey, Julian.”

“Evening chief,” Julian said with a smile.

“Chief O’Brien! A pleasure to see you, as always, what can I get you started with?” Quark asked.

“I’ll take a Saurian brandy.”

“You got it,” the Ferengi replied and turned away to pour the drink.

At that moment, Garak and Ziyal walked into the bar and headed in the direction of the holosuites. Elim met Julian’s eyes from across the bar but his expression was unreadable. 

“He’s a little old for her, don’t you think,” Miles said, following Julian’s gaze.

“Definitely,” the doctor agreed, taking another sip of his drink.

“I supposed it isn’t so bad, if it keeps him from bothering you.”

“Bothering me?”

“Ya know, how he’s always flirting with you over lunch.”

“Flirting?”

“Cardassians view arguing as a form of flirting, didn’t you know that?”

“It’s true,” Quark interrupted, setting the chief’s drink down on the bar. “Back when the Cardassians ran this place quite a few of them came in here for a shoulder to cry on when their attempts failed. I’d listen to them and let them know that they could always come to Quark’s with their sorrows.”

Julian ignored him, “I didn’t know that,” he lied to the chief. Of course Julian had known Garak was flirting with him, he’d flirted right back. It really was a wonder it had taken them so long to realize they could move beyond flirting.

“You’ve gotta be careful with him Julian, you can’t trust him.”

“Of course not, what kind of fool do you take me for?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos appreciated. <3


	11. Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all are ready for some angst.

11.

> It's all about soul  
> It's all about faith and a deeper devotion  
> It's all about soul  
> 'Cause under the love is a stronger emotion

After several rounds of drinks and a few games of darts, Julian returned to his quarters. Elim and Ziyal were still in the holosuite. Julian felt a pang of jealousy as he got ready for bed. He planned on waiting up for Elim but he at least wanted to change into something more comfortable. He put on his pajamas and curled up in bed with a PADD to read while he waited.

Julian must’ve been more tired than he realized. The next thing he knew, he was woken up by the feeling if someone slipping into the sheets next to him.

“You’re late,” Julian murmured, not bothering to open his eyes.

“My apologies,” Garak said, planting a kiss to Julian’s temple.

Julian snuggled in closer, “it’s ok”

“Ziyal is quite talkative when it comes to art but despite all her fascinating commentary I couldn’t help think about the work of art that awaited me in these quarters.”

Julian snorted, “kiss-ass.”

“What a crude suggestion.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Humans certainly have many strange phrases.”

“Coming from the Cardassian who never says what he means.”

“I was under the impression that my air of mystery was one of my more endearing qualities,” Garak said, resting his forehead against Julian’s. “After all, it was certainly not my appearance that caught your attention.”

Julian opened his eyes, “what makes you so sure about that?”

“I’ve seen the sort of individuals you usually pursue.”

“You know, there was a running joke back in my academy days about how I never went on dates with other humans.”

“Oh? And what made you avoid your own species?”

“I wasn’t trying to avoid them, I guess I just found aliens more interesting. It’s a big universe, why limit yourself? You know?” Julian replied. _Besides, you’re barely human yourself,_ he thought, but choose not to vocalize that little bit of information.

“Hmmm...” Garak said. “I suppose I understand, with a mind as curious as yours.”

Julian decided it was time for a change in subject. “This thing we’re doing with our foreheads, is it important?”

“On Cardassia, the gesture is an indicator of a certain level of intimacy.”

Julian smiled, “I love it,” he said, tilting his head to give Garak’s forehead spoon a kiss. “And I love you Elim Garak.”

Garak said nothing for several minutes. “I love you, Julian Bashir,” came the eventual reply.

It was the last thing Julian heard before he drifted off to sleep once again.

\---

Garak could hardly breathe as he held the sleeping human in his arms. 

“I love you Elim Garak,” the doctor had said.

Julian was living poetry, with his sharp wit, slim figure, and soft brown skin. The greatest artists on Cardassia could not have created something better. Garak did love him, and he knew the doctor had some affection for him, but love?

Everything felt wrong, this was not how things were supposed to work. Tain had exiled him from his home, from his people. Garak could not, should not, find happiness here. It would not last. 

Their shared embrace began to turn suffocating. As quickly and carefully as he could, Garak began to disentangle himself from the doctor.

“Elim,” Julian murmured and Garak froze. He sat there for a few minutes and once it became clear that the doctor had simply been talking in his sleep, Garak finished removing himself from the sheets and went to go sit down against the far wall.

He took several deep breaths, trying to suppress the rising panic. This couldn’t be real, it was all some trick. He was foolish to have ignored his suspicions. _You’re being paranoid,_ a voice said. _No, paranoid is what they call people who imagine threats against their life. I have threats against my life,_ he countered.

If news of their relationship got out then those threats would be directed against Julian’s life too. Garak had tried to explain it to him but the human either did not understand or did not care. Garak would not allow Julian’s life to be endangered because of him. Garak had accepted this new stage in their relationship only because he believed that Julian would eventually get tired of him and leave to go find someone younger and prettier. However, with each new conversation it seemed that Julian wasn’t planning on going anywhere.

Garak’s hands were shaking. He was a fool! An old, sentimental, fool! He’d played along with the game, hoping to take what he could get, but now it had gone to far. He had to end it. 

He stood up and took one last glance at Julian’s sleeping form before leaving the room. He found a spare PADD and left a note on the nightstand, some lie about wanting to get an early start on a project.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow, he would end it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!


	12. Twelve

12.

> Some days when I'm far away  
> In a lonely room in a cold seclusion  
> Some nights when I'm wound so tight  
> There is no release, there is no solution

Julian woke up alone. Reaching his hand across the bed, he frowned. Elim was gone. As Julian sat up, he noticed a PADD on the dresser. He glanced at the note and sighed, of course the tailor had work to do. At least they would see each other later that night.

Julian began to make his way down to the infirmary. “Wait for me!” He called when he saw Dax and O’Brien boarding the nearest turbolift. “Morning Jadzia, Chief,” he greeted once all three of them were in the lift. “Promanade,” he told the computer.

“Good morning, Julian,” Jadzia smiled

“Mornin’,” O’Brien replied. “Hey Julian, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you,” he said after a pause.

“What’s that chief?”

“When you and Garak had lunch the second time this week, I didn’t see you in the replimat, where’d you go?”

“We replicated some food in my quarters.”

Jadzia gave him a sympathetic glance, she still believed that the lunch and subsequent dinner date hadn’t worked out.

The chief looked shocked, “your quarters?”

“Yes, my quarters, is there a problem with that?”

“Like I told you last night Julian, you can’t trust him, he’s dangerous!” 

“No more dangerous than Worf, or Odo,” Jadzia interjected.

“At least they’re not liars!” O’Brien argued.

“Miles, I’m not a child, I can handle myself.”

O’Brien sighed, “I know that, It’s just... I’m your friend Julian, and I don’t want him taking advantage of you.”

Julian smiled a bit at that. Even if the chief’s concern was misplaced, it was nice to know someone was looking out for him. “I appreciate that chief, but Garak’s my friend too. I’ve known him for just as long as I’ve know both of you,” Julian said, “and if we’re being honest, Garak actually liked me when we first met.” This last remark was directed specifically at Miles, who had found Julian difficult to stomach in the beginning.

“I suppose you’re right,” the chief said guiltily.

Julian put a hand on his shoulder, “I do mean it when I say I appreciate you looking out for me.” The turbolift doors opened, “this is my stop, I’ll see you both later,” Julian said and set off towards the infirmary.

\--- 

Garak had been in a rotten mood for the last several hours. He was not looking forward to tonight’s mission, as necessary as it was. As much as he loved Julian, the doctor deserved someone who wasn’t so old and who didn’t have a past stained with blood.

It was just his luck that Tora Ziyal decided to choose that moment to drop by. He truly did not have the patience to deal with this today.

“Good morning Garak!” The girl smiled.

“What can I do for you Ziyal?”

She stood, admiring the dresses on a few of the mannequins near the shop’s entrance. “I like these, are they new?”

“Yes,” Garak said flatly.

Ziyal either didn’t pick up on his tone or was choosing to ignore it. “I had a lot of fun last night, I’m glad you changed your mind.”

“Indeed.” He said coldly. There was no need to bring up that the major had forced his hand.

“I was wondering, since we weren’t able to get through all the exhibits—“

“No,” he said firmly, cutting her off.”

“But I—“

“I said no, Ziyal!”

They stood, staring at each other for a beat before Ziyal turned and left without a word.

Garak slammed a fit down on the table in frustration. As if things couldn’t get any worse. He’d just crushed Ziyal when her only real crime was some misplaced kindness. 

Major Kira was going to kill him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos appreciated!


	13. Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's ready for some confrontation?

13.

> Well we all fall in love  
> But we disregard the danger  
> Though we share so many secrets  
> There are some we never tell

That evening, Julian sat on the couch waiting for the door chime that would signal Elim’s presence. He didn’t have to wait long.

“Come in!” He called.

Garak stepped just inside the door, hands clasped behind his back. He made no move to sit down.

Julian frowned, “sit down Elim. I was just about to replicate some tea, would you like some?”

“Doctor, I’m afraid I won’t be staying for tea.”

“Doctor? Elim, we talked about this. I’d really prefer you call me Julian when we’re alone.”

“I don’t plan on being alone with you in the future.”

Julian stood up, brows knit in confusion. “Elim, what the hell are you talking about?”

“This has to end, Julian.”

“Elim it’s only been two days, please tell me you’re joking.”

“That would be a rather cruel joke.”

Julian let out a humorless laugh, “I guess there’s something I’m just not understanding. I’m pretty sure I said I loved you last night and you said it back, so I’ll ask again, what the hell are you talking about?”

“In this situation, love is irrelevant.”

“You sound like the fucking borg!” Julian was shouting now, pacing the room in such a manner that he was likely to wear a hole in the carpet.

“For all their faults, one has to admire their dedication to achieving perfection.”

“Is that what this is about? I’m not good enough for you? Not _Cardassian_ enough for you?” Julian seethed.

“No my dear, quite the opposite in fact.”

Julian paused in his pacing, “you think you’re not good enough for me? Isn’t that my decision to make?”

“Ordinarily perhaps, but none of your partners up to this point have had my... history.”

“Oh my God, this again? Elim, I’m not afraid of the skeletons in your closet, I’m not afraid of whatever boogeymen from your past might show up, I’m capable of taking care of myself and I’m tired of people treating me like I can’t!”

“It has nothing to do with whether you can handle my past, but rather whether you should have to. It’s not fair—

Julian cut him off “You all think I’m so innocent, so naive. Well, maybe I have secrets of my own! Tell me, Mr. Garak, have you ever hear of the Eugenics Wars?” _Oh no, no no. This was not how this was all supposed to come out,_ but Julian just couldn’t stop himself.

“Julian—“

“Many years ago, there were some humans who believed that they could be smarter, faster, better than any ordinary humans,” he resumed pacing as he spoke. “They turned to genetic engineering and it worked, they were smarter and faster, and more dangerous. In their eyes, the rest of humanity was beneath them, so they tried to become Earth’s rulers.”

Garak said nothing so Julian continued.

“They were stopped, and augmented humans were outlawed by the federation, but they still exist,” Julian began to get quieter. “When I was a child my parents began to notice that I had trouble keeping up with children my own age, both physically and mentally,” tears began to flow down his face. “When I was seven, my parents took me to see the doctors on Adigeon Prime and when they returned they had a brand new son. I was fifteen when I found out what they’d done.” Julian had moved so his face was mere inches away from Garak’s, “so you see, I’m a fraud, a freak. My very existence is illegal. I shouldn’t have ever been allowed in Starfleet, if anyone found out I would lose my medical license and probably go to jail, so don’t condescend to me about whether or not I can handle your demons, I’ve spent years living with my own.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and kudos!


	14. Fourteen

14.

> I wouldn’t leave you in times of trouble  
>  We never could have come this far  
>  I took the good times; I’ll take the bad times  
>  I’ll take you just the way you are

Garak had thought up a thousand different scenarios for how this conversation would go, but even he couldn’t have anticipated this. All his courage, the certainty that this was what was best, had drained out of him.

Julian kept talking, “you asked me why I never dated other humans, and the truth is, I’m not even one of them, not really. When I play darts with the chief I have to pretend to lose some of the games. In reality, I could hit the bull’s-eye every time. I was second in my class at Starfleet Medical on purpose. I was afraid that if I was too good someone would get suspicious. My first real dream was to be a tennis player, but it would’ve been almost impossible to keep my enhancements a secret. My entire life is one massive lie,” his voice hitched on the last word. 

Garak reached out with his hands and gently took hold of the sides of Julian’s face, using his thumbs to wipe away some of the tears, “I can see now, why my lies held so much appeal for you.”

“Is that all you have to say for yourself?”

“No I—“ Garak swallowed, “I believe I owe you an apology, my dear.” He let go of Julian’s face and gestured to the couch, “perhaps we should sit down?”

Julian gave a short nod and took a seat.

Garak joined him, sitting close but not so close that he would be in danger of invading Julian’s personal space.

“When you told me you loved me last night,” Garak began, “I was ill prepared for the feelings it evoked. It has been a very long time since anyone has said that to me and meant it.”

“I heard you say you loved me back, was that real?”

“Yes, it was real, and before you ask, it was also the truth. I have loved you for a very long time, but I have never been able to hold onto anything I loved for long, so I’ve always tried my best to not get too attached. I don’t say this so that you’ll pity me, it’s just to help you understand.” 

Julian slowly nodded.

Garak continued, “I had convinced myself that this romantic relationship of ours would be brief and would help me alleviate at least some of the feelings I have towards you. However, as I began to look at things more closely I realized that would not happen. It would not happen because for some reason I can’t quite explain, you love me as much as I love you, “ he paused. “As for your... enhancements, they do not concern me in the slightest. “Your secret is safe with me, my dear.”

The next thing Garak knew, Julian was wrapping him in a bone-crushing hug. “Thank you, Elim.”

“Anything for you, Julian.”

“Don’t you ever scare me like that again.”

“You have my word.”

Julian finally let go, “it’s strange,” he said, “having someone who knows. I’ve been all alone with this secret for my entire adult life. Other than my parents, I suppose, and we aren’t exactly on speaking terms these days.”

“Understandably so,” Garak agreed. Looking at Julian now, it was clear the revelation of his augmented status had taken a lot out of him. He looked exhausted. “Might I suggest we retire to the bedroom?” Garak asked. “That is, if you’re interested in sharing tonight...”

Julian gave him a slight smile, “I would be interested, yes.”

Garak stood up and offered his hand to Julian. He took it, and the pair made their way to the bedroom.

Once the lights and clothes were off, and Garak took his place as the ‘big spoon’ (a term that Julian assured him was not a derogatory comment on his race), the Cardassian finally began to relax. “I hope you understand how truly sorry I am regarding my behavior, it was selfish of me.”

“It was selfish,” Julian agreed, “but I forgive you.”

Of course he did, Julian’s ability to forgive had always amazed Garak, “unfortunately you are not the only one to whom an apology is owed. I was rather... short with Ziyal this morning, poor girl.”

“Do you think it would be easier if you explained to her that you’re off the market?”

Garak sighed, “Julian, I still don’t think it’s a good idea. I appreciate that you are willing to accept the risks of being with me, but that doesn’t means we should go about attracting unnecessary danger.”

“I’m not saying we need to shout it from the top of the promenade, but it would be nice to tell a few close friends, Jadzia and Miles maybe. I don’t like feeling like I’m keeping secrets from them, especially when you’re nothing to be ashamed of,” Julian continued. “Besides, we wouldn’t even by lying here right now if Jadzia hadn’t helped me work up the courage to ask you to lunch in my quarters.”

Garak was surprised, “you spoke to lieutenant Dax about me?”

“Of course I did, she’s one of my best friends, I talk to her about almost everything. She was the one that noticed the way you always mooned over me at lunch.”

Garak made a mental note to give Dax a steep discount the next time she visited his shop, “I suppose it would be alright for you to tell her, as long as she promises to be discreet.”

Julian turned and gave Garak a kiss, “thank you, Elim.”

“However,” Garak continued, “I am more concerned about the chief.”

“I know the two of you don’t exactly get along. Would it help if we told Miles and Keiko at the same time? I know you and her talk a lot.”

Garak supposed that would be all right, Mrs. O’Brien had a tendency to smooth out her husband’s rougher characteristics, “that would be acceptable.”

“I’ll also probably have to tell Sisko at some point, since he’s my superior, but I think we can wait a bit,” Julian said and let out a yawn.

“I will endeavor to follow your lead on this, my love, but I think now it is probably time to go to sleep.”

“You’ll get not arguments from me, although I know how much you enjoy our debates.”

“Goodnight, Julian.”

“Goodnight, Elim.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone still reading!
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated.


	15. Fifteen

15.

> Don’t wait for answers  
> Just take your chances  
> Don’t ask me why

A week had passed since Garak had agreed to begin sharing the news of their relationship. Julian had already told Jadzia, who was predictably delighted. Although her initial question of “how’s the sex?” made him want to strangle her.

Now he and Garak were sitting in the O’Breins’ quarters, opposite Miles and Keiko. Julian nervously played with his hands. He glanced over at Elim, who looked expectantly back at him as if to say, ‘go on, this was your idea.’

“Umm, thank you for meeting with us, on short notice,” Julian began.

Keiko smiled while Miles just looked confused.

“Anyway, well...” Julian swallowed, “El-Garak and I...”

“Well, go on Julian,” the chief prompted, still unsure about where the conversation was going.

“What the good doctor is trying to say,” Garak interjected, “is that he an I are now in a relationship.”

Miles jumped up from his seat. “What!?”

“Miles!” Keiko warned. “Congratulations,” she said to Garak and Julian.

“Julian, what the hell are you thinking?” the chief said, his face turning scarlet.

“I was thinking it would be a good idea to tell my best friend who I’m dating, but now I’m beginning to think that was a mistake,” Julian said darkly.

Miles’ eyes darted between Julian and Garak for several moments before sitting back down was a sigh, “I’m sorry Julian, I know I should be happy for you, and part of me is... I think, but I just don’t know what you see in him. No offence, Garak,” he said with a glance towards the Cardassian.

“None taken,” Garak replied, ever the gentleman.

“Chief, why do you love your wife?” Julian asked

The question seemed to catch him off guard, “well, I like talking to her, she’s smart, beautiful...” Miles said, looking over at a smiling Keiko. “To tell you the truth I don’t really know why sometimes. It’s hard to explain.”

“Can you accept that maybe that’s how I feel about Garak?”

Miles looked at Julian for a long moment. “I suppose I can,” the chief admitted.

Julian smiled, “thank you Miles.” He knew that some people found the chief rough and inflexible, but when it came down to it he really was a decent man. Julian was thankful to count him as a friend. “I think we’ve taken up enough of your time, we’ll let you get back to your dinner,” he said and stood up, Garak following suit.

“Nonsense, Julian!” Keiko exclaimed. You and Garak should stay for dinner, it would be no trouble to replicate some more food.” 

“Yeah, stay for dinner,” Miles said, much less enthusiastically and only after Keiko glared daggers at him.

Before Julian could answer, Garak did it for him.

“Of course, Julian and I would be delighted.”

\---

Julian expected the meal to be awkward but after just a few minutes he, Garak, and the O’Briens fell into an easy rhythm of conversation.

Most of the credit belonged to Keiko, who, in her infinite wisdom, started by asking Garak a question about plants native to Cardassia, a subject he was more than happy to discuss at length. 

Botany had never been Julian’s strong point so instead he and the chief talked about what historical holosuite program they should try next and Molly decided to show Julian all of her recent art projects.

It was no secret that Julian did not get along with his parents. It was part of the reason why Julian had never pictured himself having a family of his own, but sitting here, surrounded by people he loved and who loved him, maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thanksgiving to those in the US! I hope you're all staying safe. I didn't plan for this chapter to coincide with today but I think it worked out quite well.
> 
> Comments and kudos appreciated. <3


	16. Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please accept my humble offering of Ziyal content. <3

16.

> I never said you had to offer me a second chance  
> I never said I was a victim of circumstance

Garak had every intention of apologizing to Ziyal. Major Kira had not yet come storming into the shop to demand his head, so he had so assume that Ziyal had chosen not to inform her of last week’s events, for which Garak was deeply grateful.

There was a great number of things that Garak wanted to discuss with the young Cardassian, however, there was one major obstacle hindering his apology. Ziyal was avoiding him. Anytime she saw Garak coming near her, she would turn and walk the other way or duck into the nearest corridor. Garak could hardly blame her, but he was beginning to get a bit irritated. Short of barging into her quarters, there didn’t seem to be much he could do to get a private conversation with her.

Garak expressed his frustrations to Julian that evening as they sat together on the couch in what was quickly becoming their joint-quarters, “I don’t enjoy this unresolved hostility between Ziyal and myself.”

“Why haven’t you talked to her again?”

“Julian, she refuses to even look at me, let alone speak to me.”

Julian thought for a moment as he nursed his mug of Tarkalean tea. “Would it help if I talked to her?”

“You do not need to apologize on my behalf.”

“I’m not, although I feel like I might be at least partially to blame for depriving her of your attention.”

“In that case, you might as well apologize to the entire station, since I’ve ignored most everyone in favor of you.”

Julian smiled and rolled his eyes, “I’ll just talk to Ziyal and explain that you want to apologize to her. I can have her come to the infirmary for a physical, that way it won’t seem suspicious.”

“Using your position as CMO to lure someone away under false pretenses? I seem to be rubbing off on you, my dear.”

“I would hardly call it that!” Julian said indignantly. “Besides, she is actually due for a physical. I think it’s more like convenient timing.”

“Hmmm, whatever you say, my love.”

\--- 

When Ziyal arrived in the infirmary the next morning she was all smiles. “Good morning doctor.”

“Good morning Ziyal,” Julian greeted her. “Thank you for stopping by.”

“Of course.”

“It should only take me a few minutes,” Julian said, opening up his medical tricorder. “What have you been up to lately?”

“Working on art mostly. Jake invited me over tomorrow to show me how to cook some sort of human food. I think he still misses having Nog around,” she said as Julian preformed several scans.

“Those two were thick as thieves,” Julian agreed. “What about you and Garak?”

Ziyal’s face darkened. “That is a private matter, doctor.”

“Private?” Julian had finished evaluating her and closed the tricorder.

“We are not on speaking terms.”

“I talked to Garak yesterday, and he would very much like to speak to you.”

Ziyal narrowed her eyes. “I don’t know what he told you, but during our last meeting he made it very clear that he was not interested in my companionship.”

Julian sighed. “He wasn’t really mad at you Ziyal, it was my fault. He was frightened, of something I said.”

“What did you say?”

“That I loved him.”

“Oh,” multiple emotions crossed Ziyal’s face before it settled on panic

“Oh! Doctor! I-I didn’t realize, I thought you were just friends, I—“

“It’s alright Ziyal,” Julian interrupted. “It’s a relatively new development in our relationship, and we’re trying to be discreet.”

“I won’t tell anyone, you have my word.”

“I appreciate that,” Julian smiled. “Now, I’m pleased to give you a clean bill of health. My only prescription is that you go speak with our resident tailor.”

\--- 

Garak had very low expectations for Julian’s plan, so when Ziyal walked into his shop that afternoon he was pleasantly surprised.

“Garak.”

“Ziyal”

“...Dr. Bashir mentioned that you wanted to speak with me?”

“Yes,” now that she was here Garak wasn’t quite sure where to begin. He decided to speak to her honestly. _Oh the irony._ “I was rather unkind to you, my dear, and I would like to apologize for my behavior. You see, I had a personal matter that was causing me some concern and I’m afraid I took it out on you. Contrary to what I may have implied, I do enjoy your company, it’s just—”

“You’re not in love with me.”

“Well, no—“

“—Because you’re in love with Dr. Bashir.”

Garak blinked, “I beg your pardon?”

“The doctor told me that’s why you were in a bad mood, because he told you he loved you.”

“A rather simplified version of the situation, but yes, that is true.”

“I wish you had told me from the beginning that you weren’t interested.”

“As the only other Cardassian on the station I felt it was my duty to be welcoming towards you. It is not easy to be separated from one’s own culture.”

“I appreciate that, and I see now how I must have misread the situation.” Ziyal said, “I never meant to put you in an uncomfortable position.” 

Garak waved his hand dismissively. “All is forgiven, my dear.”

“I forgive you too Garak,” Ziyal said and the next thing he knew she was giving him a hug.

Garak hesitated for just a moment before returning the gesture.

Ziyal let go and smiled at him, “I’m glad we can be friends”

“As am I,” Garak agreed, and he meant it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for leaving comments and kudos!


	17. Seventeen

17.

> They say it takes a lot to keep a love alive  
>  In every heart, there pumps a different beat  
>  But if we shift the rhythm into overdrive  
>  Well, we could generate a lot of heat

With the confrontation with Ziyal out of the way, Garak was looking forward to a relaxing evening. He arrived at Julian’s quarters at the usual time. Before Garak even had a chance to ring the chime, the door slid open.

“Elim! Come in,” Julian said, even more enthusiastically than usual. “How did your talk with Ziyal go?” He asked as the Cardassian made his way to the sitting area.

“Quite well,” Garak reported, “I believe we’ve reached an understanding.”

“That’s good to hear,” Julian said. “How about we celebrate?” He produced a datarod, seemingly out of nowhere. “I got this new holosuite program, and before you say anything,” he held up a hand before Garak could interrupt, “it’s nothing like the James Bond, or Battle of Britain programs. It’s a recreation of a place on Earth called the Museum of Glass, as it looked in the early 21st century.”

Garak was certainly intrigued, “why would one want a museum dedicated solely to glass?”

“It’s not glass in the utilitarian sense, it’s art,” Julian was nearly vibrating with excitement. “Artists use heat, colored glass, air, and other different tools to make all these really interesting pieces,” he explained. “I think it would be something you might enjoy...” he trailed off.

Garak smiled, “I would be delighted, my dear.”

\--- 

Julian was correct; Garak did enjoy the museum, or rather, its holographic imitation. What he enjoyed even more was the way Julian was pressed up against him as they walked arm and arm. Garak had convinced the doctor to change out of the ghastly Starfleet Uniform and into something a bit more flattering. Since it was a holoprogram, they were able to turn off the other guests, allowing for complete privacy.

The Cardassian had not really know what to expect from a “museum of glass,” but whatever expectations he had were surpassed even before they entered the building.

Upon walking into the holosuite, they had stepped out onto what Julian called the “Chihuly Bridge of Glass.” Two large columns of what looked like turquoise colored rocks flanked the entrance, but were evidently two of the pieces of art made from glass to which Julian had referred. As they continued on, they began to see pieces that reminded Garak of some of the more unusual plant species he had encountered during his time as a gardener. 

Once they entered the museum itself, they had the opportunity to watch some of the artists as they worked. Garak was intrigued by the way that glass, which typically shattered when met which excessive force, looked and stretched like a Changeling when exposed to enough heat. Garak let Julian do most of the talking, since he was obviously the more knowledgeable one when it came to Earth culture. Garak didn’t mind. He could listen to the dear doctor talk all day long.

After they had their fill of the exhibits, they pair made their way out the back of the museum where there was a large reflection pool with tendrils of clear glass sticking out of it. The holographic sun was just beginning to set, the light, water, and glass all playing off of one another in intricate ways. They sat together at the edge of the pool, gazing out over the cityscape.

Garak looked over at Julian, and the sight nearly took his breath away. The human was practically glowing in the afternoon light. “Julian...” he began but then words seemed to fail.

“Yes?” Julian said innocently as he turned towards Garak. The innocence was a façade, it was impossible for Julian to be unaware of the effect he was having.

Instead of answering, Garak kissed him, long and slow.

When they came up for air, Julian was beaming. “You enjoyed the date, I take it?”

“Yes, very much,” Garak breathed. The museum was only the beginning. He had a very solid idea of where this night was going to end.

“We should probably get going, otherwise Quark is going to start charging us for overtime.”

Garak nodded, he felt a chill from the loss of touch as they exited the holosuite and entered the bar. He reminded himself that the lapse in contact was only temporarily.

Julian stopped briefly to say hello to Lieutenant Dax and Chief O’Brien. The three friends exchanged words but Garak was too preoccupied with Julian to register what had been said. The bar was packed, as it always was this time of night, but Julian was by far the most intelligent, kind, and beautiful creature here. Lieutenant Dax caught his gaze and she smiled, knowingly. 

As he and Julian made their way to the exit, Garak couldn’t help but smile when he noticed Ziyal and Jake Sisko sitting together at one of the bar’s more secluded tables.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting close to the end, thank you to everyone who has been sticking with it.
> 
> The Museum of Glass is a real place in Tacoma, WA.
> 
> Comments and kudos appreciated. <3


	18. Eighteen

18.

> While they're closing it down  
> We're gonna open it up  
> And while they're going to sleep  
> We'll just be starting to touch 

They had barely set foot in Julian’s quarters before the doctor was slammed up against the nearest wall while a Cardassian tongue went down his throat. It seems that Elim really had enjoyed himself. ‘Had’ was probably not the best word to use since he was clearly also enjoying himself in the present.

Julian fiddled with the clasps on Elim’s tunic (they were always so damn hard to find), and began to strip the Cardassian of his numerous layers until his hands were running down bare scales. He felt Elim shiver.

Julian broke away, “computer, increase temperature by five degrees,” he gasped. 

“How considerate of you, my dear,” Elim purred.

“Anything for you, Elim.”

“Anything? That’s a rather bold promise.”

“I mean it,” Julian said earnestly.

“Very well, you can start by taking off your shirt.”

\--- 

Bare-chested, they began to move towards the bedroom. The process was somewhat interrupted by Julian stubbing his toe on a chair.

“Fuck!” Julian hissed

“Such vulgarity,” Garak tsked. 

Julian rolled his eyes, “considering my dick is about to be inside you, I don’t think you need to be worrying about vulgarity.” By now they had made it to the bedroom, Julian pushing Garak onto the mattress.

“What a way to speak to one’s elders!”

“You’re not that old,” Julian paused. “Are you...?”

“Not quite,” Garak conceded.

“You could at least tell me your birthday, you know,” Julian said, straddling Garak between his thighs.

“I have to maintain at least some element of mystery, my dear, otherwise, what is to stop you from leaving to run after the next pretty thing to pass you by on the promenade?”

Garak had meant it in jest, but Julian’s brows knit in concern. “I would never do that to you.”

“I know,” Garak said. Not long ago, the fear of Julian leaving AND the fear of Julian staying had been genuine, but not anymore. 

“Good,” Julian said, leaning down to give him a kiss. “Now, I think my pants may be getting a bit tight.

“Hmmm, I know just the tailor that could help you with that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short final chapter before the epilogue (which will hopefully be up tomorrow).
> 
> Thank you for all the kudos and comments.


	19. Epilogue

Epilogue

> I can always find someone  
> To say they sympathize  
> If I wear my heart out on my sleeve  
> But I don't want some pretty face  
> To tell me pretty lies  
> All I want is someone to believe 

4 months later...

Julian woke up, the familiar feeling of Elim’s scales pressing into his back. Julian couldn’t help but reflect back on the events that had lead to this moment, especially with what he had planned for today.

There had been a time when the doctor never could have imagined being able to have anything more than friendship with the tailor, now he couldn’t imagine life without him.

Julian had only been with Elim for a few months now, but with their years of lunches together it seemed much longer, which is why he had no reservations about what he was going to do.

The clock read 0630 hours. It was Julian’s day off, so there was no reason for him to be awake this early. However, the nervous anticipation that had settled in his stomach was making it difficult to sleep. He carefully turned his head to look at Elim.

The Cardassian was a light sleeper, but his sub-coconscious had slowly gotten used to sharing a bed with Julian, to the point that he was no longer woken up by every little movement. Earning Sisko’s approval to move into shared quarters and the bigger bed privileges that followed had certainly helped.

Julian carefully stretched out his arm towards his bedside table, opened the drawer, and pulled out a small black box. He slowly cracked it open to take a look at what he already knew to be inside. The ring was a simple silver band, perfect for a plain, simple tailor. Julian smiled at the thought.

He had considered throwing some elaborate public, proposal. Jadzia had strongly encouraged him on this front, but it just hadn’t seemed right. Better to stick to the tradition of having the important conversations over lunch.

“What are you looking at, Julian?” Came a groggy voice from behind him.

_Oh fuck!_ Julian had been so lost in thought that he hadn’t noticed Elim begin to stir. “Nothing, my dear, go back to sleep,” Julian said, stuffing the box into the sheets in the hope that it would escape notice. His response had quite the opposite effect, making Elim all the more inquisitive and alert.

“Oh?” The Cardassian said as he began to snake his arm over towards where Julian had hidden the box.

Julian grabbed the offending limb before it could get too far. “Please Elim, it’s a secret, but I promise to tell you soon.”

Julian could sense Elim’s smile, “And what if I don’t want to wait?”

The human let out an exacerbated sigh, but he wasn’t upset, if anything he found this whole situation rather amusing. “Weren’t you the one always trying to teach me the importance of patience?”

“Hmmm, perhaps, but it seems your Federation curiosity has begun to rub off on me.”

“Well, that is unfortunate timing for you,” Julian said. “Since you’ll have to wait until lunch.”

“As a doctor, I would have imagined you to be more sensitive to the mental strain that waiting can have on a person.”

“You’re impossible.”

“And here I was, thinking you liked me that way,” Elim, adjusting his position to snuggle in closer, although the effort was rather in vain as they were about as close to one another as two people could be.

“I do,” Julian conceded

“Then you agree to my terms?”

“What terms?”

“To show me whatever you’re hiding for the sake of preserving my health.”

Oh, Julian did love this ridiculous man. He turned to face him. Elim’s ice blue eyes shone brightly, even in the dim light of the bedroom. “Fine, but on one condition.”

“And what condition would that be?”

“You can’t be mad at me for giving in and not waiting until lunch.”

“Considering this was my request, I can hardly be mad at you, my dear.”

“You might...”

“I won’t.” Elim promised.

Julian looked at Elim for a long moment and then pulled the box out of the sheets. It was a miracle (or perhaps his genetic enhancements), that his hands did not shake as he did so. You can do this, he told himself.

Elim raised an eyebrow, “what’s this?”

Julian opened the box, “Elim Garak, will you marry me?”

\--- 

Garak was now completely awake. He sat upright and Julian followed suit, the open box still in his dear doctor’s outstretched hand. _Ah, so that’s why he wanted to wait until lunch._

Carefully, Garak took the box, staring at its contents for several long moments. It was a simple piece of metal, but he knew that looks could be deceiving. Sometimes the simplest piece of clothing was the most elegant. He took the ring out of the box and held it between his fingers. Cardassians did not exchange rings, it was very much a human tradition, but Garak could understand the appeal. The ring, as small as it was, represented something infinitely complex.

“...Elim?” Julian said, a note of worry in his voice.

Garak shifted his focus from the ring, to Julian. Looking into his eyes, he knew there could only be one answer.

With his free hand, Garak cupped Julian’s face. “Yes, of course, my dear Julian, he smiled. “It would be my absolute pleasure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the Billy Joel song lyrics that appeared before each chapter are from the following songs:  
> 1\. “Shades of Grey  
> 2\. “Great Wall of China”  
> 3\. “Pressure”  
> 4\. “Get it Right the First Time”  
> 5\. “A Minor Variation”  
> 6\. “River of Dreams”  
> 7\. “Two Thousand Years”  
> 8\. “Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel)”  
> 9\. “Blonde Over Blue”  
> 10\. “If I Only Had the Words (To Tell You)”  
> 11\. “All About Soul”  
> 12\. “Blonde Over Blue”  
> 13\. “The Stranger”  
> 14\. “Just the Way You Are”  
> 15\. “Don’t Ask Me Why”  
> 16\. “My Life”  
> 17\. “52nd Street”  
> 18\. “Until the Night”  
> Epilogue. “Honesty”
> 
> And of course, the title itself is a reference to “The Longest Time”
> 
> My next Garashir fic involves some memory loss and a lot of angst so If that's something you're interested in I would love for you to check it out. The first chapter should be up sometime in the next week. I'm also working on a Garashir/Voyager crossover but that one is still very much in the WIP stage.
> 
> Thank you for reading, commenting, and leaving kudos. <3


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